Moogle Thoughts Issue #7 – On Qwaider’s Wedding

Them fiends!

I swear I will just curl up into a fluff ball and sell myself as a fluffy keychain so that Mr Qwaider purchases me as a cute little thing for Mrs Qwaider and I just fart in their car!

Ahem

So here I speak on behalf of all the kupolings (ie bloggers) who do not have the required Kupo Nuts to do this :D

Yes yes I am to imbecilize Mr and Mrs Qwaider.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I will be Mrs Qwaider for a minute cuz KJ told me I should always imbecilize women first.

Mrs Qwaider Posting as Mrs Qwaider Post #3992364

OMG OMG OMG we like went to this uber uber super duper cute cute omg picnic (ie we BBQed in our backyard) and Samer yo2bor 6ooly inshalla ilahi ma ye7remni minnak ya ro7 el 3dam elli maskeh albi ya albi albi inte ya nafas ro7i elli ma kan 3ayesh mn doonak elahi ya 7a2 lk inshalla sadljfblakshfdbp24qi24897edgfpiyagfu sdfij hsdafpioushed 2397d yc (ie people stopped reading and skipped to comments to see what this is about)

Comments:

SomePerson says:
Lek inshalla alf mabrook ya rub (ie ok this is like the 3992364th time I tell you mabrook um it is hard to be the first commenter!)

SomeOtherPerson says:
Awww BBQ how sweeeeeeeeeet! (ie I used MS Word to summarize the content)

YetAnotherPerson says:
Hey sa7teeeeeeeeeeeeeein I make BBQ sauce like this (with recipe)

SomePerson says:
Lek 3eib ya Samer help her out with BBQ (now that I read SomeOtherPerson’s comment and knew what this is about)

Qwaider says:
7abeebet albi lek inshalla Allah ma y7remni mennek ya 7a2 w ya reit [copy paste half of Mai’s post here]

KJ says:
Samer strap on a pair and BBQ for once. Mai, next time he doesn’t BBQ throw his Xbox out (note this is like the 3992364th time I say it)

Maher says:
LOOOOOOOOOL! (um, oh hai!)

[the end]

Ah yes love at its finest :D

But fret not, fiendlings! For Moogle is not done yet. Noe Noe – Samer is to be imbecilized NEXT! Right after these messages:

يمكنكم الآن متابعة مسلسل “ميوش” على
MBC+
الرجاء الاتصال على
800-bikaffy-3ad

Samer Posting as Mr Qwaider Live From the Wedding (har har har! I has a marridg!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I will blog from my wedding! We are ADDICTED! (rather, you’re all stupid enough not to grasp the concept of SCHEDULED POSTS!!!!). HAHA! See how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been training ALL MY LIFE for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By posting hundreds of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! marks in every sentence in every post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a matter-of-factly as possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now since all of you are sorry singles, I will teach you how to perform your JAHA! Cuz am Qwiader and my way is TEH way! And you SHOULD have wedding crashers! Part of the EXPERIENCE! It was AWESOME! Oh and don’t forget my upcoming MOVIE PREVIEW (of course we watched movies during my wedding!): You’re All Jealous Especially You KJ (2008-ad-infinitum)

Up for Charity?! Help Me Get This..

Say hello to the Charlie Chaplin 88 Limited Edition. This is your top priority pen, and preferrably in roller ink… however since it is limited I guess I will have to make do with a nib.

Now in case that was off budget – although if you all contribute we can collectively afford it – you can get me a slightly more affordable Alexander Von.

Now the incentive you have to buy me one of those (the Charlie Chaplin please) is that I will personally provide you a hand written thank you letter and enclose a small gift as well. The person with the largest contribution also gets Moogle, Peter or a miniMoogle when born. Besides it will be used to write the book I have always wanted to write, so you’re doing the world a favor by speeding up the process.

So thank you in advance :D

Moogle Thoughts Issue #4 Special Edition – On KJ’s Wedding

What is wrong with this keyboard?

*observes sticky keys*

Ugh, KJ is disgusting, I don’t know how he finds entertainment in naked people! How can they not be cold, naked in this weather! I think KJ is a sadistic person.

Anyway… *closes windows with nude people in them*… now that KJ is in the shower, it is time to put my plans forth on annihilating him and his friends in the wedding. He mocked me Moogle for too long now! It is time to exact my Kupolized Revenge.

But first things first… I have to dress up appropriately for this assassination. No evil plan is worth going through if there is no attire to go along with it. Isn’t that right! So here I reveal to you my Attire of Divine Revengeful Assasination, Inc.

It is a bit tight, however, thanks to its Ergonomic Design, the carrots provide the dual role of Shurikens as well as Rations for the Hungry in Dire Need. Unfortunately the gloves render my hands clumsy.

I shall now share my uber plan with you. Let me bring forth my Assasination Sketchbook Limited Edition (crayon box as freebie! woohoo!). Opening the pages reveal the three most prominent attendees, from my side, to KJ’s doomed wedding:

KJ wants to do his wedding on the enormous heli-pad of Burj Al Arab. It is a most excellent choice! The perfect assassination setting: High building surrounded by waters! I shall place Nessie in the water and the Dragons hovering above her in circles. I shall explain later on how they come into play.

But first things first. People who are Unworthy are to be placed on the outer ring of the heli-pad. First, they provide an easy target for “accidental” shoving over to oblivion below. Yes yes vile and cruel indeed. I only wish KJ would be dispensed that easily, but he shall face a most gruesome adversary later on.

Now that all the Infidels are on the outer edge, it is time to bring out my MoogCopter. It shall hover just at the right height, and such that the blades are inside the heli-pad. That way, I only need to circle the heli-pad once to decapitate all of those hapless idiots. Please refer to my expertly drawn sketch for reference.

The area in red are the now-decapitated people. However, the people in the yellow area would have witnessed this Act of Cleansing. Therefore, they must be promptly disposed of – as well as the decapitated corpses in the red section.

To do this, I would have, prior to the wedding, skillfully installed remote-controlled hinges below the heli-pad. Upon the precise pressing of an unusually large red button, the red and yellow sections shall flip vertically and all people would fall into a spiked trap below. The Dragons can feed upon them, if they please, when it is time for the buffet. The buffet is also the perfect time to eat my carrot ration.

To get rid of the rest, I shall wait until it is time for the Hapless Bride to throw her bouquet. Given that it is traditional that all senile and single men and women gather for this event, I shall make it an Event of Remembrance – too bad they won’t live too long to remember it happily.

Please refer to my detailed illustration as I explain to you the steps.

As you can see, step 1 involves sending people into a projectile across. This is done as follows. The previous night I would have installed the Spring of Death underneath the H formation in the heli-pad – which holds the last surviving people. KJ and his wife will not be affected by this – they have a more deserving death.

As soon as KJ’s wife throws the bouquet and the people rush to it, the Spring of Death shall activate, launching everyone on the platform over the building. With my precise mathematical calculation – given decent wind conditions – they shall be projected onto the flying dragons, who, after having had their feed from the spikes during the buffet, shall now burp their flames on the oncoming crowd, sending them well done or medium-rare to Nessie, according to her taste. I would have taken her preference proper prior to the event.

Now that KJ is finally alone with his soon-to-be-widow, and now that I would have completed successfully my Transformation Ascension to the Dark Side, I shall reveal my final form as Darth Kupo.

It is then that I fight bravely and exact my revenge upon KJ, for mocking me all these years, for confining me in the limits of his ridiculous “intelligent” brain leftovers, and for subjecting me to countless hours of human nudity. We will have a Battle of Epic Proportions and I shall use The Force to manipulate the dragons into kidnapping his Damsel in Distress – like all heroic stories are written. Too bad though that I shall triumph this time. Any suggestions on what to do with the newly widowed bride is welcome.

BWA AHHAHAHAHHAHA

Ahem.

Alright, now none of you shall inform KJ of my evil doings. He is now leaving the shower and I have to act all cute and naive again.

*hurries away to hide his sketches*


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