All-in-One Reply to Tags

Sorry for the delay in response, but I can’t have 7 replies to book-meme and 298176 to “things to do before you’re 18″. So here is my all-in-one response.

Book-Meme

The book is “Fraud of the Rings by M. R. Moogtein”

5th sentence:
Henceforth Dildo Baggings castrated himself, for great Sauron he slaught.

Next sentences:
And Frodo castheth himself onto molten oblivion, the ring he hath sought.
Betwixt his fingers and the ring there were, a dodo that hath flought.
That caughteth the ring in its claws, a new lord the ring has brought.
Frodo felleth beneath the red of greed, a hero now he is naught.
And Dodo took flight invincible against arrows, or so it hath thought.

Billion Things To Do Before 18

1. Raid the fridge.
100. Have an online romantic relationship.
500. Yell at your parents and get grounded, then escape through the window.
1,000. Destroy your sister’s Barbie doll collection.
8,277. Walk in on your parents during The Act. You need to be prepared for life and if you survive this ordeal you can survive anything.
19,398. Run down the beach naked whilst peeing.
3,482,991. Take your girlfriend/boyfriend to the beach and break up there. This ensures a bad memory every time they take their new partners to the beach.
21,938,283. Go on top of a table in a party and vomit.
34,719,127. Vomit during a rollecoaster ride.
46,171,638. Vomit when asked “do I look nice?”
183,882,937. Give your girlfriend/boyfriend/parents a wake up call by slapping them.
283,271,871. Run over a cat/pigeon/rodent whilest driving then sue the government for not putting up animal crossing signs.
456,276,181. While yo’re at it, sue Angelina Jolie for not adopting you.
728,176,163. Bunjee jump.
832,761,753. Cause a catastrophe in the chemistry lab.
899,171,873. Put your father’s tie in a shredder.
910,910,091. Vandalize an enemy’s car.
950,004,000. Defacate on doorsteps, ring the bell and run.
999,999,990. Return a sandwich in Burger King/Mc Donald’s and claim something is wrong with the taste. The horrific look on other customer’s faces is priceless (tested myself)
999,999,999. Experience papercuts.
1,000,000,000. Create, receive, and forward spam email / tags :P :P :P

Tagged (with images!)

A Available or single

B Best friend

C Cake or pie

E Essential item

F Favourite color

G Gummy bears or worms

H Home town

I Indulgence

J January or February


K kids

L Life

M Marriage

N Number of siblings

O Oranges or Apples

P Phobias


Q Favourite quote

R Reason to smile

S Season

T Tag 3 people

U Unknown fact about me


V/W Worst habit

X/Y Your favourite food

Z Zodiac

10 Things You Don’t Know About Me

Tagged by a retard

  1. I am obsessed with symmetry.
  2. I have no problem of releasing my sexual frustration if there are people at the house. It is their problem and they chose to be there when I told them I want to stay at home alone.
  3. I am a kid, I don’t act like a kid. Live with it. And yes, I DO build sand castles when I am at the beach.
  4. I used to be a professional thief. I left that behind now (whatever)
  5. Most of my dreams came true in some form. I still didn’t sprout wings though as I did in one of the dreams.
  6. I don’t agree that Japanese are patient people, otherwise they would wait for their fish to cook.
  7. I have so much built up anger from years of being a push over and being abused that making me pissed off is like voluntarily offering yourself to Hannibal Lecter.
  8. If you are talking to me and I give you a blank face it simply means that I am doing really, really gruesome stuff to you in my head that Hannibal Lecter is the least of your worries.
  9. You can enslave me by threatening me with a cockroach
  10. Me and my best friend act like a married couple, with all the fights and the typical “you are not what you used to be” conversations taking place every once in a while.
I tag: God. Come on tell us something!