*observes sticky keys*
Ugh, KJ is disgusting, I don’t know how he finds entertainment in naked people! How can they not be cold, naked in this weather! I think KJ is a sadistic person.
Anyway… *closes windows with nude people in them*… now that KJ is in the shower, it is time to put my plans forth on annihilating him and his friends in the wedding. He mocked me Moogle for too long now! It is time to exact my Kupolized Revenge.
But first things first… I have to dress up appropriately for this assassination. No evil plan is worth going through if there is no attire to go along with it. Isn’t that right! So here I reveal to you my Attire of Divine Revengeful Assasination, Inc.
I shall now share my uber plan with you. Let me bring forth my Assasination Sketchbook Limited Edition (crayon box as freebie! woohoo!). Opening the pages reveal the three most prominent attendees, from my side, to KJ’s doomed wedding:
But first things first. People who are Unworthy are to be placed on the outer ring of the heli-pad. First, they provide an easy target for “accidental” shoving over to oblivion below. Yes yes vile and cruel indeed. I only wish KJ would be dispensed that easily, but he shall face a most gruesome adversary later on.
Now that all the Infidels are on the outer edge, it is time to bring out my MoogCopter. It shall hover just at the right height, and such that the blades are inside the heli-pad. That way, I only need to circle the heli-pad once to decapitate all of those hapless idiots. Please refer to my expertly drawn sketch for reference.
To do this, I would have, prior to the wedding, skillfully installed remote-controlled hinges below the heli-pad. Upon the precise pressing of an unusually large red button, the red and yellow sections shall flip vertically and all people would fall into a spiked trap below. The Dragons can feed upon them, if they please, when it is time for the buffet. The buffet is also the perfect time to eat my carrot ration.
Please refer to my detailed illustration as I explain to you the steps.
As soon as KJ’s wife throws the bouquet and the people rush to it, the Spring of Death shall activate, launching everyone on the platform over the building. With my precise mathematical calculation – given decent wind conditions – they shall be projected onto the flying dragons, who, after having had their feed from the spikes during the buffet, shall now burp their flames on the oncoming crowd, sending them well done or medium-rare to Nessie, according to her taste. I would have taken her preference proper prior to the event.
Now that KJ is finally alone with his soon-to-be-widow, and now that I would have completed successfully my Transformation Ascension to the Dark Side, I shall reveal my final form as Darth Kupo.
Alright, now none of you shall inform KJ of my evil doings. He is now leaving the shower and I have to act all cute and naive again.
*hurries away to hide his sketches*
previous thought | all thoughts