Well actually they’re not always black. In fact the majority are brownish. I don’t know why black is cooler though.
Anyway, so I have had this big roach invasion when I first moved in. I then realized I was the one who invaded as they were already beyond settled in the studio and have already colonized into tribes. I was greeted by the official runner from one of the tribes but, unfortunately, he never made it back.
Enraged at the loss of their runner, the leader of one of the tribes met the other leader in a summit beneath the kitchen. “We are to poop on the food and spread our germs and eggs where we can,” says one of the elders. “Soldiers, inseminate your women, we go commando.”
And so it happened. Impregnated female roaches infested the kitchen while the kamikaze soldiers raided the counter top.
After a month of battling, and many lost lives, I called in the exterminator. Apparently they have new technology now, and instead of spraying they just bait the roach with poison, and when it goes back to the nest it kills everyone there.
It didn’t work, and, in fact, for a while it decreased. Then winter came, and the reign of the roaches is over. Defeated, they migrated to another place. I emerged victorious.
Little did I know they went to regroup and call on friends.
The came back, recently, in large numbers. Sending their children to raid the kitchen and having an all out war against me.
I have had it with them. I mass massacred families of roaches in a mere few days. I want to go to the kitchen for once without being terrified.
I called on the official exterminator, my friend. He came, and, for 4.5 hours, we obliterated all tribes. Vacuumed, scrubbed, and cleaned with lots of Ariel and Clorox…. lots and lots of Clorox… and then naphthalene and silicon.
Unfortunately, there was one survivor. A most dangerous one. A mother. She escaped, last sighted scurrying to the bathroom.
The bathroom was cleaned and sealed up with silicon. But she survived.
Till this morning.
Hopefully I won’t be seeing any of them anytime soon, except a couple of survivors, if they manage not to suffocate in the silicon and naphthalene.