I introduce to you, ladies and gentlemen, my early morning sandwich recipe! It is called Moogwich #B’s… I have many Moogwiches! But the B’s series are of significance cuz they’re, well, sBecial, exceBtional, and kalBoozifying!!

Or it could be because B stands for Beast

So here is what you need:
- whole grain, everything grain toast!
- edit! butter removed! no longer an ingredient! you dietlings!
- full cream full fat processed cheese triangles! one for every toast!
- full cream full fat feta cheese! Get it with flavors too!
- olives! Who doesn’t love olives!
- beef mortadella with black pepper! 4 slices per sandwich!
- blackseeds (Nigella Sativa) حبة البركة
- mint, tomatoes, and other stuff cows like to graze on!!!

Method:
- as always, embrace yourself first, you’re about to make a Moogwich!
- place the three pieces of toast and admire how they look like
- grains tend to escape, so eat them and set an example to other grainlings!
- spread the processed cheese! Remember - one triangle per toast! This will serve as the sweet aspect of the meal!

- crumble the feta and spread it over just two of the toastlings! With the blackseeds! This serves as the salty aspect!

- sprinkle sliced olives over the feta!

- place thin slices of tomato!
- at this stage you will have several cheeses and olive oil on your fingers, so lick away!
- place two slices of mortadella on top of the feta cheese!
- add any cow’s grazing products you like! I use lettuce and mint!
- this way you have two toasts with processed cheese, feta cheese and mortadella, and cow food and one toast with just processed cheese!

- very gently place the barren cheese-only-toast on top of one of the other toasts! Be gentle! Barren toasts are jealous and sensitive!
- place the big fat joe on top and you got yourself a double decker!
- embrace yourself!

Now all you need is to have fresh orange juice and you have made what I eat at 8:30 AM! Of course, eat cereal on 7 AM and another Moogwich #B’s in the afterrnoon (just put labneh instead of the processed cheese and za3tar\thyme instead of the feta) with apple juice!

tada!

Every single day, I come to the office with a box of sweets. I don’t remember how I started this habit but it has been in effect for so long, people actually go bitter (no pun intended) if they don’t get their daily dose of sweets.

Today I actually got fruits for a change and they literally threw fits. I had to buy a big box of GuyLian to shut them up LoL!!!

But there is this One Guy that I totally hate. Not that he is a bad person, not that I have anything against him professionally or otherwise. In fact I only know his name, and I know how he looks, and everyone in the office knows I call him That Chocolate Thief.

The box of chocolates, every day, is always next to me on the desk. After lunch, I offer chocolates to everyone and people during the day randomly show up to get their fix. He, on the other hand, actually PREYS silently.

He first hovers around my desk PRETENDING to talk on the phone. He assesses the quality of the chocolate as well as how much time he has to strike before the chocolate box empties.

The imbecile, what he does is, that when I go to pray, he strikes! He literally takes so much chocolate it amounts to like 1/4th of the box! THE GUY IS INSANE!

The other day there was in the box 12 pieces. I ate one and gave away some and there were only 5 left. He took 4!!! I couldn’t believe it!

Eye witnesses told me who he was. They said he swooped in several times, eating chocolate then taking some back to his stupid desk. I went insane! I mean, I have nothing against giving the guy some chocolate, but for him to wait for me to go pray so he can swoop in? What kind of manners do PROJECT MANAGERS have these days!

It happened several times. But not today.

Not with the expensive GuyLian. He took away my 85% cocoa Lindt the other day. But he won’t take my GuyLian sea shells.

No he won’t.

I SAW HIM hover behind me, pretending to talk on the phone. I was actually getting up to go to the toilet, which is when he started his phone call. BUT NO. I didn’t go, I remained! He remained, too, pretending to talk, walking back and forth BEHIND ME!

He then gave up and went back.

The imbecile!

Yesterday I tried out making Ravioli with Alfredo sauce and chicken. And it was totally awesome! So here is how to make it.

FRY DAMN CHICKEN FRY!

Depending on how many you will be feeding (as well as your appetite), you need as many FRESH chicken breasts. Frozen chicken breasts simply won’t do. They’r disgusting. For my sister and myself, we shared 3 chicken breasts. So yeah, you need a lot.

Slice the chicken into small cubes and marinate them with a little bit of olive oil, crushed garlic (as many as you would want to handle) and half a lemon (or as much as you want). Just remember that the taste of the ingredients will dilute with the sauce and pasta, so keep it in mind.

Keep the chicken still to marinate fully for 15 minutes or so.

Next up, bring your frying pan or wok (I prefer a wok). The oil on the marinated chicken should be enough to roast them, so once they are roasted add some ginger powder and put the wok aside.

IF you want, you can roast in some mushrooms and brocolli seperately. Mushrooms take 4 lightyears to roast so keep them seperate from everything else.

WHAT’S THIS FLUFFY THING?

It isn’t Moogle (I wish it were). It is Ravioli, which is basically pasta stuffed with spinach. Do NOT bring in frozen ravioli. It is the bane of all pastas. It is like unfreezing lasagna. No one likes that.

You can either stuff the ravioli yourself or get freshly stuffed ones. They’re not that expensive when you think of it, and they’re made fresh and are available in most supermarkets. All you need to do is put them in salted boiled water and sit patiently for a few minutes. Which you can do the sauce in.

If you’re going to stuff it yourself, do it like you do samboosak (or samoosak if you’re Palestinian). If you’re Russian, it is like Pelmeine but with spinach instead of the meat. Put the spinach (you may want to put in goat cheese too) and wrap the pasta on it. Clasp your hands together and savor the moment.

WHO IS ALFREDO?

Alfredo is the restaurant name where the sauce was invented. Now you can make it at your home.

The basic ingredient is full cream. Yes, wonderfully thick and deliciously textured cream. You can get them in packs. Don’t get the runny cream. You’d want the thick one and then, um, thin it from there.

Empty a pack into a deep cooking utensil and add tiny amounts of water, around 3 table spoons. Stir the cream, if you find it too thick, add a tablespoon of water, until you think it is thick enough. Basically you would like it to be a bit firm to the stir. However, note that if you are going to add cheese, it will make it firmer, so you would want to add another tablespoon of water in this case.

Keep stirring because cream has a bad habit of sticking. Once it comes to a light boil, add the parmesan, romani or cheddar cheese (all grated) to the mixtire. Count to five and then add the chicken and ravioli (after filtering them from the water).

Stir the mixture properly so that the chicken ratios out with the ravioli. Keep it on a very low flame because the cream thickens with every second you keep it on the stove. Taste it to check how all the ingredients mixed and add salt or pepper as necessary.

SAY GRACE

Put the contents of the food into respective plates of the people who are going to eat (I personally would have eaten half the meal from the pot). Wash some rockets and toss it in every dish. With spinach and rockets, no excuses will be accepted tonight!

---

Related Recipes: Fusilli Bolognese | All Food Recipes

Over the years in uni and now at work life, I have become quite the expert when it comes to making pasta dishes. So today I am going to give you my pasta recipe in the hope that there will be more people to carry out my legacy. If it tastes bad, then know it is entirely your fault.

Ingredients (for 1.5 dishes):
- Fusili pasta, preferably from Barilla
- Lots of fresh tomatoes (the more the merrier)
- Mushrooms, depending on the size, you can put as many as you want. If you got one of those ready-made sliced ones, then 1/3 of the medium tin would do.
- Fresh basil. Dry basil would do, but fresh has a stronger taste.
- Oregano, of course. Bring pure oregano, not one with basil mixed in.
- You need three cheeses: Parmesan, Cheddar and Mozzarella
- EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
- Garlic and onions to your liking.
- Minced meat (1/4 kilos)
- Salt, pepper, boiling water, spoon, fork and other utensils (especially pots)

WORKING THE PASTA
- Do NOT put the pasta in the hot water. It will become sticky.
- Heat the water to the point it is very hot but not boiling, then add the pasta.
- Alternatively you can put the pasta in first then pour the hot water on it. It makes a difference.
- Allow the pasta to settle before touching it. Leave it for a minute.
- Stir the pasta a little. Since it is fusili, it won’t tangle itself with other fusilis.
- Add enough EVOO to have half the pot covered in EVOO film.
- Stir the pasta vertically, so that the EVOO goes deep into the pot and lathers itself on the pasta.
- The EVOO will eventually rise to the top again, don’t panic.
- Leave it unstirred for 2 minutes, then re-stir for a few seconds. Keep at it.
- If you like it “Italian”, you need to stop cooking when the pasta is almost soft.
- Do NOT attempt to throw the fusili on the wall for testing. It is covered in oil and won’t stick.
- When it is almost soft, turn off the stove and keep the pasta in. It will soften further.
- If you like it harder then turn off the stove beforehand.

SLICING THOSE TOMATOES
- First of all you need to decide how you like the garlic.
- Option one: Slice the garlic into thin pieces. You’re gonna need one or two garlic, uh, capsules.
- Option two: Bring ONE garlic capsule and squish it completely. It gives a better taste.
- Slice the tomatoes and put them in a blender. Keep one tomato unblended.
- Throw in the garlic. It is mandatory.
- Blend the mixture.
- While it blends, cut the other tomato into cubey chunks.
- If you don’t like tomato residue in the blended tomatoes, see next section.
- Keep them on the side for now.

MORE TOMATO HOUSEKEEPING
- If you want pure tomato sauce, you need a very thing filter (like the ones for tea)
- Put the filter on top of another pot, then pour your tomato sauce in the filter.
- Using a spoon, squeeze down the blended tomato. Pure tomato sauce will escape, leaving behind solid tomato.

STORY OF ONIONS AND MEAT
- Mince the onions. You need 2 small ones. Keep another tiny onion unminced.
- Cut the other onion into thin longitudinal slices.
- If that’s too much onion, you can have one sliced and one minced.
- Make sure the meat is defrosted. If it is still frozen, the meat may burn while cooking.
- Put in the defrosted meat and proceed in the mincing process.
- Place with it the mushrooms. They take a long while to cook.
- As soon as 3/4 of the meat takes on a color different from red, throw in the onions.
- If the mushrooms turn a different color you can remove them away from the center.
- Add salt and pepper to your liking.
- When you think the meat is ready, embrace yourself.

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER
- Once the meat is ready, pour in the tomatoes
- Count to 20 (important) and add the tomato chunks.
- Keep stirring till it boils. Make sure the meat is moved or it will stick to the bottom of the pan.
- Add the oregano, salt and pepper as you see fit.

THE PASTA TRICK
- Now here is the pasta trick.
- Have another pot ready, semi-heated.
- Remove the pasta manually from the pot. This way it gets lathered with EVOO on its way out.
- Put the fusili in the other pot on the stove.
- This way, the fusili will provide you with enough oil to fry them in.
- Fry the fusili a LITTLE. You don’t want it French fries.
- Turn off stove.

SECRETS OF THE DISH
- Bring in a deep dish. You need it.
- Shred the three cheeses and put SOME in the BOTTOM of the dish.
- Add some pasta.
- Throw in a LITTLE bit of basil.
- Add the rest of the pasta.
- Add some cheese.
- THEN pour the sauce.
- Add more cheese and basil.

Then eat.