you've-been-raped // kinan jarjous

You’ve Been Raped! Shame on You!

I won’t be discussing politics here but what caught my attention while reading this article on the Washington Post is that a few good men have pledged to marry the women who have been recently raped (the point of who is the rapist is not my point of discussion).

“It made us so mad. Such an injustice. We have decided, we will marry them,” said Ibrahim Kayyis, a 32-year-old baker from Jisr al-Shugour, a town that was stormed by troops.

To reclaim their “honor,” families in Syria have been known to kill raped female members. Even if families allow such women to live, they are not eligible to marry.

“We sat and discussed that we want to change this. We don’t want to change just the regime in Syria, but also this kind of stuff. So we will marry them in front of everyone,” Kayyis said.

Now, in all seriousness, this is 2011 for the love of everything you hold dear! How can anyone punish someone for being raped? Because they’ve been raped now the entire family’s honour is “stolen”!?!?! This is an ongoing topic of discussion over at Kinzi’s so you can read all about it there. I am not less flabbergasted today than I was a few years ago when it was a trend in Jordan. If there’s anyone – rather, anything – dishonourable it is the rapists in society and the social system that insists on propagating this idea of equating good women with virginity.

I can bet my balls that there aren’t many virgins out there left in this wilderness. I had a neighbour in Damascus who was finding it needlessly difficult to get married as she was married before. Society automatically believes that it is her fault and that she’s no longer a virgin. Oh, poor man’s ego,  preoccupied with the thoughts of whether her former husband is better in bed and that she won’t put hummus on the table next morning!

I’d like to say “go get laid” but most men – ironically – are. So I’d just say go get a life and a brain while you’re at it. They’re no less women after being raped than they were before; they’re still human beings and women are the pride of our nations and humanity as a whole. They’re our mothers, sisters, and they will raise our future generations. We should take care of them and go after the rapists. Otherwise, what kind of message are we giving our youth and the world at large? That we accept rapists in our society and favour them over our women?

  • Mohammad Badi

    I don’t really know what to say, should I feel sad for the woman or the society being hero? However, the only thing I might consider is our societies thinking. endless disappointments.

  • Anonymous

    It’s pathetic. The good news – I think – is that this generation is mostly against it, so when the older generation finally goes extinct we’d be a bit closer to having these old stupid habits die with them as well. I am not sure if it is lack of education or ignorance or simply them not willing to accept that there is a different alternative to the situation.

  • kinzi

    KJ, you are an awesome man. this post exemplifies what I believe to the the highest and purest form of male honor. You are my hero today. Not that my opinion or conference of that distinction matters, but you get the Khalto Batl/Prince of Arabia Award for calling it what it is.

  • Anonymous

    Hahaha! Thank you Khalto Kinzi :D but there are no heroes here except the brave women who, despite everything some of the backwards mentalities impose upon them – still stand strong and continue on with life.

  • Tha2ir

    The Typical image in the middle eastern society. I think it’ll take more time than you think to make a positive  change in people’s images.

  • princess princess

    Men suck.

    Calm down I was kidding….but this is heartbreaking and it’s good to know that people are actively overcoming these misguided beliefs and doing their part to make a point.

  • princess princess

    Nice blog..check mine out 

    Princess-inwaiting@blogspot:disqus .com

  • http://suffonsifisms.wordpress.com Isobel

    Ah…swoop in and save the day with an artificial hymen. They’re making them in China, you know. (eye roll)

    Fantastic post, KJ. Sorry I haven’t been around in while. I’ve missed a lot I see.