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11 January 2010 ~ View Comments

Jarjuiciyyat Vol. 3

jarjuiciyyat

The Grasshopper Incident

Me: O_______________________O
Sis: *walks in* what’s the matter?
Me: *points*
Sis: O_______________________O
Sis: Ok KJ we need to kill it.
Me: NO WAY! I am NOT going to kill that thing!
Sis: It’s in OUR BALCONY and I don’t want it IN MY HOUSE!
Me: FINE! But I am not going to squish it.
Sis: Whatever.
Me: *gets room scented spray*
Sis: What the HELL are you doing?!
Me: What if it smells when it dies!
Sis: It’s a GRASS hopper, it will just smell of GRASS!
Me: Psht! well then, I have an idea
Sis: What?
Me: You know cans, if you keep pressing, they get cold, and the spray gets cold
Sis: aha…
Me: so we will just FREEZE it! Then throw it outside to thaw and resume its life.
Sis: you want to freeze a grasshopper with a scented spray…
Me: think about it! It will not harm us, it will live, AND it will smell nice!
Sis: suit yourself…

the grasshopper died.

Finding a Home

Me: look what I bought! *points to brand new bicycle*
Sis: Where on EARTH are you gonna put it!
Me: here, in the kitchen
Sis: no no, no no no no no, this goes downstairs in the storage
Me: But it’s DARK down there and COLD!
Sis: KJ this is not the time for you to be you.
Me: What if Charlie gets -
Sis: Charlie? It has a name now?!
Me: What if Charlie gets a cold and he breaks down while cycling.
Sis: It’s a STUPID BIKE!
Me: O_O
Sis: And what the heck is THAT! *points to green ribbon*
Me: It’s a ribbon.
Sis: Why did they give you a ribbon!
Me: I asked for it.
Sis: O___O
Me: Well they didn’t wanna give me a discount so I said the least you could do is give me a ribbon!
Sis: Just… put it in the kitchen…

Plumbing Lies

Sis: *after 15 minutes of driving* um KJ
Me: yup?
Sis: I think the flush in my washroom is not working
Me: What?!
Sis: yeah water is always running it’s not stopping.
Me: You’re telling me this NOW?
Sis: I forgot I am sorry! Anyway it’s ok.
Me: What do you mean OK!
Sis: Well it’s not gonna flood the house!
Me: Well even if it doesn’t we will just waste gallons of water till we come back!
Sis: Ok “Mr Environmentalist”
Me: gsdkuhfspiuy! *drives back*

back at home

Me: It’s fine! It’s working fine!
Sis: Oh, sorry then, my mistake..
Me: *notices something different*
Sis: what?
Me: Did you… just change your shoes?
Sis: huh? Oh… tee hee!




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  • ola
    LOL how come I never saw this blog before!!

    So, did you make it clear for the grasshopper before you killed it that you're killing it for a good reason and that you're sorry and that one day you will face the same destiny just like every other living creatures?
  • Sabeen
    i tried killing a cockroach with air freshner once and it went crazy and started running around everywhere and then disappeared.i spent the night having visions of it growing till it was big enough to eat me..the next morning when my brother in law put his shoes on for work..he found a little crunchy surprise inside.
  • jarofjuice
    wa3d -
    Oh she's really good!

    Rula -
    Honestly I should not put it in the kitchen, but since I ride almost every day it is a hassle putting it in and out of the store room
  • Poor grasshopper,,
    You did what you want and kept it in the kitchen :)
    And good move for the ribbon thingy at least you got something extra :grin:
  • Wa3d
    Your sister's mastery of man slavery should be taught !
    Miss Jarjous, Respect !
  • jarofjuice
    LOL how did I forget about that HAHAHAHHA
  • Kinan has an egg in one hand and a necklace in another

    Me: What the hell are you doing?"
    KJ: "ummm..I read this article that you can give your jewelery an ancient look by putting them with egg yolk for 72 hours.
    Me: O_________O
    KJ: I think its going to look cool if I leave my fingerprints on them.
    Me: *sighs*

    2 days later:

    Sis: Kinan, there is a bad smell coming out of the kitchen.
    Me: *cough cough*
    KJ: ..........

    2 hours later, KJ goes to kitchen

    KJ: %$#$#*%##!**$@
    me: CODE BLACK CODE BLACK.. *evacuates the area*

    After hours of sanitization, the fate of the necklace remains unknown to me.
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