Jarjuiciyyat Vol. 3

The Grasshopper Incident

Me: O_______________________O
Sis: *walks in* what’s the matter?
Me: *points*
Sis: O_______________________O
Sis: Ok KJ we need to kill it.
Me: NO WAY! I am NOT going to kill that thing!
Sis: It’s in OUR BALCONY and I don’t want it IN MY HOUSE!
Me: FINE! But I am not going to squish it.
Sis: Whatever.
Me: *gets room scented spray*
Sis: What the HELL are you doing?!
Me: What if it smells when it dies!
Sis: It’s a GRASS hopper, it will just smell of GRASS!
Me: Psht! well then, I have an idea
Sis: What?
Me: You know cans, if you keep pressing, they get cold, and the spray gets cold
Sis: aha…
Me: so we will just FREEZE it! Then throw it outside to thaw and resume its life.
Sis: you want to freeze a grasshopper with a scented spray…
Me: think about it! It will not harm us, it will live, AND it will smell nice!
Sis: suit yourself…

the grasshopper died.

Finding a Home

Me: look what I bought! *points to brand new bicycle*
Sis: Where on EARTH are you gonna put it!
Me: here, in the kitchen
Sis: no no, no no no no no, this goes downstairs in the storage
Me: But it’s DARK down there and COLD!
Sis: KJ this is not the time for you to be you.
Me: What if Charlie gets –
Sis: Charlie? It has a name now?!
Me: What if Charlie gets a cold and he breaks down while cycling.
Sis: It’s a STUPID BIKE!
Me: O_O
Sis: And what the heck is THAT! *points to green ribbon*
Me: It’s a ribbon.
Sis: Why did they give you a ribbon!
Me: I asked for it.
Sis: O___O
Me: Well they didn’t wanna give me a discount so I said the least you could do is give me a ribbon!
Sis: Just… put it in the kitchen…

Plumbing Lies

Sis: *after 15 minutes of driving* um KJ
Me: yup?
Sis: I think the flush in my washroom is not working
Me: What?!
Sis: yeah water is always running it’s not stopping.
Me: You’re telling me this NOW?
Sis: I forgot I am sorry! Anyway it’s ok.
Me: What do you mean OK!
Sis: Well it’s not gonna flood the house!
Me: Well even if it doesn’t we will just waste gallons of water till we come back!
Sis: Ok “Mr Environmentalist”
Me: gsdkuhfspiuy! *drives back*

back at home

Me: It’s fine! It’s working fine!
Sis: Oh, sorry then, my mistake..
Me: *notices something different*
Sis: what?
Me: Did you… just change your shoes?
Sis: huh? Oh… tee hee!

  • http://hammouz.blogspot.com/ hamza

    Kinan has an egg in one hand and a necklace in another

    Me: What the hell are you doing?”
    KJ: “ummm..I read this article that you can give your jewelery an ancient look by putting them with egg yolk for 72 hours.
    Me: O_________O
    KJ: I think its going to look cool if I leave my fingerprints on them.
    Me: *sighs*

    2 days later:

    Sis: Kinan, there is a bad smell coming out of the kitchen.
    Me: *cough cough*
    KJ: ……….

    2 hours later, KJ goes to kitchen

    KJ: %$#$#*%##!**$@
    me: CODE BLACK CODE BLACK.. *evacuates the area*

    After hours of sanitization, the fate of the necklace remains unknown to me.

  • http://hammouz.blogspot.com hamza

    Kinan has an egg in one hand and a necklace in another

    Me: What the hell are you doing?”
    KJ: “ummm..I read this article that you can give your jewelery an ancient look by putting them with egg yolk for 72 hours.
    Me: O_________O
    KJ: I think its going to look cool if I leave my fingerprints on them.
    Me: *sighs*

    2 days later:

    Sis: Kinan, there is a bad smell coming out of the kitchen.
    Me: *cough cough*
    KJ: ……….

    2 hours later, KJ goes to kitchen

    KJ: %$#$#*%##!**$@
    me: CODE BLACK CODE BLACK.. *evacuates the area*

    After hours of sanitization, the fate of the necklace remains unknown to me.

  • http://www.missarafat.com/ Rula A.

    Poor grasshopper,,
    You did what you want and kept it in the kitchen :)
    And good move for the ribbon thingy at least you got something extra :grin:

  • http://blog.jarofjuice.com KJ

    LOL how did I forget about that HAHAHAHHA

  • Anonymous

    LOL how did I forget about that HAHAHAHHA

  • Wa3d

    Your sister’s mastery of man slavery should be taught !
    Miss Jarjous, Respect !

  • Wa3d

    Your sister’s mastery of man slavery should be taught !
    Miss Jarjous, Respect !

  • http://www.missarafat.com/ Rula A.

    Poor grasshopper,,
    You did what you want and kept it in the kitchen :)
    And good move for the ribbon thingy at least you got something extra :grin:

  • Anonymous

    wa3d -
    Oh she’s really good!

    Rula -
    Honestly I should not put it in the kitchen, but since I ride almost every day it is a hassle putting it in and out of the store room

  • http://blog.jarofjuice.com KJ

    wa3d -
    Oh she’s really good!

    Rula -
    Honestly I should not put it in the kitchen, but since I ride almost every day it is a hassle putting it in and out of the store room

  • Sabeen

    i tried killing a cockroach with air freshner once and it went crazy and started running around everywhere and then disappeared.i spent the night having visions of it growing till it was big enough to eat me..the next morning when my brother in law put his shoes on for work..he found a little crunchy surprise inside.

  • Sabeen

    i tried killing a cockroach with air freshner once and it went crazy and started running around everywhere and then disappeared.i spent the night having visions of it growing till it was big enough to eat me..the next morning when my brother in law put his shoes on for work..he found a little crunchy surprise inside.

  • ola

    LOL how come I never saw this blog before!!

    So, did you make it clear for the grasshopper before you killed it that you’re killing it for a good reason and that you’re sorry and that one day you will face the same destiny just like every other living creatures?

  • ola

    LOL how come I never saw this blog before!!

    So, did you make it clear for the grasshopper before you killed it that you’re killing it for a good reason and that you’re sorry and that one day you will face the same destiny just like every other living creatures?

  • SL

    LOL, I once had a grasshopper incident of mine too; way back when I was…..i don’t remember really; but a kid.

    This was how it went down:

    *cue grasshopper sounds in background*

    Me: *tries to ignore*

    *sound getting louder*

    Me: *gets annoyed*
    Me: Dad, there’s this annoying grasshopper sound! :/

    Dad: *gets tool of some sort, waits till grasshopper is in place, and gets rid of it through the tool*

    Me: =D

    The End.

  • Maisa

    sis: I don’t remember killing a grasshopper…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Infact i dont remember this entire conversation!!!! …. Funny us (jar of juices)