Moogle Thoughts Issue #9 – Solving the Water Crisis
Ah! Free at last! This ridiculous, sad, pathetic excuse of a living organism called KJ should be tied to the back of Bugatti and driven around town until he catches fire from the friction. Why a Bugatti? Cuz Moogle kills people in style, of course! I have a rep to keep, you know.
I shall then put the Bugatti on sale using a site created by Qwaider. We all know of his vile evil plans to leech money out of your clicks, so an extra penny will help. The money raised during this “charitable” giveaway will be used to fund my project as outlined below.
Now, for proprietary reasons, I shall formalize the plan according to MOGRI-9019 standards. Morgri the Great is our legendary leader, founder of the Moogles, who got assassinated when he betrayed our clan by fornicating with a pet bunny raised by humans. So you can understand my resentment to KJ.
Mogri the Great, now available in all stores
MOGRI-9019 Case# 261751: Water Crisis Solution Using the Mogrinton Cauldron to Instantiate Invasion Phase III Outlined by Mortigle 001992-128193.
There! Now that I have met the MOGRI-9019 standards I shall proceed with the elaboration.
As you all know, you humans use a lot of water and waste most of it. Seriously. Except for KJ, who calculates the amount of water he consumes so that his bill always comes out as 250 AED every month.
While of course, getting rid of humans is our ultimate goal, starting with KJ, it is in our best interest to aid you in your quest to solve the water crisis. So here is our solution:
You might be puzzled, of course, for your brain capacity is beyond nanoscropic. What you see above is water powder.
Indeed! What a marvellous creation! Water concentrate from water! All you need to do is, put a bit of the powder in the cup, add a tablespoon of liquid water and you are presented with litres upon litres of fresh goodness! In fact, our experiments have shown that 3 kilograms of the powder can fill up a swimming pool with unchlorinated water! This also works very well with my solution to solve global warming.
according to Mogrithology, the Mogrinton Cauldron was used by Mogri the Great to fill Mogripolis with water
So you must be interested in how it works, well, it is quite ingeniously simple really!
All that is required is to heat water to impossible degrees, preferrably between 4028 – 5210 celcius, without it evaporating. Revealing how this is done publicly will foil the plan and render any revenue null. A simpler and much less effective alternative is to heat the water until evaporation, and sprinkle baby powder into the vapors, thereby retaining some of the water in powder form. Of course using such mechanisms may alter the water’s taste and properties so use cautiously.
the Mogrinton Couldron as presented in Secret Files 9281-211 v2.3
Ah! So here you have it, the power to save the world is in these water powder crystals. Safe, dermatoligically proven and certified by all types of standards!
BUT, there is another way, another more effective way. Unfortunately it will consume lots of time, delaying the Invasion. But, we can use stem cell research to tamper with your genes in such a way to reverse the properties of osmosis, and through years of evolution you can just dip yourself in the sea for a drink.
But that would simply prolong KJ’s existence, and no one wants that, right?
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Behold, the greatest idea to save humanity!
I’M BACK!
Wow it seems i’ve missed on alot
nice idea kupo, now we don’t need to worry more about water
Ya KJ, you almost lost me with the bit about the rabbit.
BUT, because you are KJ, I read it through. I don’t get it, but I am glad you are back
I didn’t NEED to gt it, right?
Ulysses -
Yes!
Ms Loala -
You did!
hamdan -
yes yes of course, you are saved by my brilliancy
Kinzi -
LOL! The rabbit, Moogle, lives in my head. He intends to obliterate humans starting with myself. But no, you really don’t need to get it!
:O
Moogle, I can’t stop myself from expressing my disappointment at sabotaging my “Beavereen” laboratory and stealing my research. That’s a major change in the rules of the game.
“Revealing how this is done publicly will foil the plan and render any revenue null.”
oh you see my friend, you actually don’t have the rest of the documents that i have secretly kept in my secret safe. So let me shed some light on that.
After long years of utter failure, we have managed to find a way to heat the water without evaporating it by circulating through the fetus of new-moogleborns (2 to 4 months) and electrolyzing it there. The results were exceptional as the fetus during this period has the ability to constantly regenerate oxygen and hydrogen atoms that naturally compound to generate “oxygen hydride” (i.e water powder).
As for how did we get in hold of the first sample fetus, well, I guess that’s the question that you need to ask to the bunny that your legendary lord, Mogri fornicatd with.
man ! i read it yesterday and didn’t understand a word … i said to my self yaa benet haay el high fever elle m2asraa 3alekee … but i came today (still have high fever thu)read again and still don’t understand a word :S …. 5alas bedesh afham :p
2aa5 yaa rasee
Hamza -
I am glad I didn’t agree that you co author this blog
SimSim -
LOOOOL, it’s ok, even I don’t understand Moogle!
I think i like moogle..
LOL, Moogle is fu**ing genius in some retarded way.
oh, and since we are at it, here’s a finger to all the douches that waste water willy-nilly.
Jabi -
You have been approved by Moogle
DJ -
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
looking at his portrait, I didn’t know your great leader Mogri was such a “Playboy”! Hats off to him!
But if your moogle race ultimately achieves success in eradicating all humans, won’t you simply miss them after that? You can’t live without us, Moogle! I know you, you can’t live without that inferior creature that is KJ!
So go back to your secret cult and pass this message:
Don’t bite off more than you can chew
XTR -
LOOOOOOOOL! Well, hmm… I guess then we should have started with you
a interesting solution to a maybe the most important problem of the actual age, not only the global warming also to shortage of water, scientist say that the next war will be for water, when I don’t drink enough water I suffer some kind of erection problem, so I need a little dose of Generic Viagra, but well this my problem not for the rest of the world get to know about the problem of one men when the world is near to dry up, at least you have a recommendation, the only thing that scientist do is discuss about the solution and never do nothing.