Missing Granny

What happened to the world?

I look at kids these days, and tell my friend, “kess ekht hal jeel” [fuck this generation]… I see kids, barely having any shape, sporting all sorts of hairstyles, clothing, accessories, and worst of all, attitude. They’re not even hormonal teenagers – let’s not open that door. Every kid these days thinks they are the zgirty, the Conan or whatever of the world.

Generations before me thought the same of my generation. I know, at least, how my parents spent their time, when they were kids or when in college. And then I look at how I spent, and spend, my time. And look at the younger ones.

And I realize life’s becoming antisocial.

Even when kids these days hang out – in malls – they’re each preoccupied with a gadget in their palm (be it PSP or cell phone), or being in the movies (two hours of silence) or in coffee shops with laptops open on Facebook. Of course I do see (and know) kids who go sleep over or do the “traditional” things kids do – sports, classes (be it music or extracirricular education), birthday parties and the works. But I just imagine kids calling each other on the phone and say “hey let’s go check Facebook together at Costa, am bored checking it at home. My mom is such a nagging bitch!”

And I look at myself, right now, and how I spent the past three years. As much as I boast how I love my granny – and I honestly do – how many times do I call her? Once a month? What a shame… when I should be calling her every day. She’s the one who raised me, and the one who saved my life from severe diarrhea. And I can’t be bothered to call her because I am so distracted, at my age, with other things – namely the basement I used to work in.

I keep asking myself, what really should I be doing at my age? I can’t believe I allowed myself to be depressed for two or so years! And now when I do sit alone at home, I think of grandma who is also sitting alone, except that my friends are still alive and I can call them. I go against the flow in almost everything, why do I tend to go to the flow when it comes to what I should be doing, according to this day and age? Why can’t I just do whatever I feel like doing?

And therefore we watch a lot of TV, because people’s lives on TV reflect what we’ve been missing out on. Be it action or romance or social drama. And we keep envying those who “have done it”, those who went against the flow to do what they want. We get inspired until the show hits commercial breaks. And we’re brainwashed into buying some eco-friendly plastic or a hideously choreographed tampon or cheese commercial. Or STC or Zain Saudi. Everything is Saudi Saudi Saudi, even my job offers. I am getting allergic already.

I keep thinking maybe I should move to Syria. She would love it. Last time I was there, she said “ma teddaya2 teta, hada betak w masroofak 3andi, wojoodak wallah barakeh w byeshra7 el alb” [don’t worry about anything, this is your home, and I will take care of your expenses, your presence alone is a blessing and makes me happy].

Am glad I wasn’t born a bit later and had to go through Pokemon card trading. Or yu-gi-oh or whatever it was called. Am also glad that videogaming is shifting from a solitary experience to a social one. By time it did.

My grandma used to call my laptop/PC/console as “el khashbeh” [piece of wood]. Looking back, it is. That’s what my facial expressions were anyway. Turn on your webcam and record yourself for 30 minutes browsing the web or doing whatever. Look at your facial expressions.

We’re robots in the making! And granny at her age knew it and was trying to protect me from it.

Am thinking too much, and out loud this time – you’ve just read my disjointed thoughts! The worst part is that I didn’t write it in my journal, because am addicted to LCD.

Gladly, I still read books, and that irrepraceable smell. Aaaaah.