When Mom Reads Something She Shouldn’t
As you know, I have had several journals that speak of my days and nights on this planet. One or two of them got trashed and another burnt, but a couple survived, one of them thick enough to chronicle three years or so.
At any rate, when mom was here some time ago, she was doing her usual cleaning and rearranging when she stumbled upon The Book.
If I were wise enough I would have put The Book among other notebooks, novels and volumes of academia to undermine its presence. But no, I had to stash it away in a labyrinth of obstacles and out of reach, making it quite an important item to justify my mom’s leafing through it.
Most of the stuff I write, even now, is incomprehensible gibberish, random thoughts and philosophies and reflections on almost everything, all in abstract monologues. One day it might be a book of significant human achievement, you’d never know! In between those abrupt and wacky thoughts are normal, human-friendly accounts of what transpired on that given day.
My mom happened to flip to one of the comprehensible pages, which, of all things, told of a certain experience I had in college. My friend, in a nutshell, visited me with a couple of very posh and very expensive cigars.
Now you know I am a non smoker and, back then, being very righteous and goody two shoes, I did not allow myself to write that my friend and I smoked cigars. To hide the truth, I wrote “my friend and I have sinned”.
Done laughing? Good… mom wasn’t laughing. She was horrified. Her hopes of having grandchildren got butchered.
Her very own son was sinning with another man.
She had to read more, so she read the pages before and after. Of course, I was quite creative in my writings, and with the “sin” part consuming mom’s thoughts, you can imagine how she felt when I wrote on how breathless I was after sinning, how I had to consume lots of liquids to remove the taste, how my room was smoking, and – which I am sure almost gave her a stroke – I frequently coughed and gagged, and most importantly that it felt really good and my friend and I laughed so hard.
It took mom several days of preparation to open the topic with me.
“Kinan,” she started, after having me sit down for a talk. I expected this to be another bridal shopping lecture.
“Yes mom”
“I… I know of your sin”
“huh”
“Kinan 7abibi it is ok, I am your mom, you can tell me everything”
“what”
“I won’t tell anyone… we can talk about this”
“Talk about what?!”
“People make mistakes, people do stupid things, it is ok… I just want to protect you”
“From WHAT! What the HELL are you talking about?!”
“When you were a kid did anyone touch you?”
“O__O”
“It’s ok Kinan… I just realized, omg I am a horrible mom! I never asked if anyone hurt you in school…”
“Um.. no, I am fine…”
“In college… did anyone do anything?”
“O__O”
“I read your journal… when you sinned”
It then dawned on me. I refrained from being angry at her leafing through my journal, so I just said “No mom it’s just me and my friend smoking”
That didn’t make it any better.
She was prepared to hear me confess or fulfill her hopes by telling her that yes I sinned and I need some therapy.
But she wasn’t prepared to hear that I smoked.
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What a sin. I sure’d be glad to read the second part…
If you have sinned smoking till you and your friend laughed all the way… all day, then by all means I’d smoke everyday of my life one each day. At least this way, I am sure I didn’t hurt anyone. Ana
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
your mom is extremely understanding. If I were her, I’d denounce you as my son upon reading the journal.
LOOOOOOOOL..ta7sheesh inta
Hilarious. One question though, how old were you when you wrote this?
ana -
Smoking is horrible and anyone who smokes should be decapitated!
Hamza -
Yes she is understanding el7amdella. Maybe you can be like her and understand why I used the money you gave me to cut my hair
Jessyz -
Hmm.. the entry was I think 4 years back so I was 20.
LOL. This is one of the best stories I ever read, man… I can only imagine how awkward this has been. but trust me, she will be on the look out for more. Great post
Hahahaha. you just mad my day. thanks.
oh. and your poor Mom. God bless her.
Hahaha!!!! I’m literally laughing my guts out!!!
7araaam your mom how sweet of her.. “I’m such a horrible mom” XD. Allah ya5aleeha man.
I stopped writing in journals… things written on paper can have excruciatingly painful results… mental-wise.
I can imagine mum reading in my journals that I’ve sinned… That would make a nice dramatic movie!
nice post!
I can’t stop smiling at this hilarious story! I’m so glad I’ve re-discovered your blog (seen a long time ago) after seing you on DJ’s.
I’ll be reading in reverse order, but judging from the blog titles, your unemployment (which I hope is temporary and will bring better opportunities) is giving you time to write … good for us.
Wonderful writing KJ, in form and in content.
bala cigar bala batikh..shou hal 2osa haidi!!
How can I get in touch with your mom ?
loool
ROFL
forgive me mother for i have sinned.
LOOOL hilarious
I can only imagine how your face looked like when she asked if anyone touched you as a kid HAHAHA
I sin two packs a day.
Ulysses -
Hahaha, I actually bought a safe now!
Nevermind -
Thank you
7ala -
Thank you teslami, Allah y5allee kel el 2ommahat
Dania -
LOOOL I got reminded of Cassandra the Mexican series hahahaha
Rime -
It is an honor to have you here Rime
Noura -
You can come visit, she is coming in a week!
DJ -
LMAO
Hala -
It was terrible!
Roger -
LOOOOOOOOOOL
LOL…
Nice psot indeed ,,,
ya 7araam ur mom …… lol….
hahahaha, your mom is so cute!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
You are such a geek. Sinned????? LOOOL
vagueraz -
starwish -
Awww thanks
7aki -
HEY! I am a FORMER geek ok FORMERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (well former as of next monday!)
that was hilarious! thanks for the laugh!
Oh my Gosh, Im still luaghing Kinan, this is hilarious, now you got to show her your Girl friend to prove the opposite!
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im so glad i discovered ur blog reaallyy..big tie glad,thnx 4 the laugh!!!
I just suscribed 2 your blog 2day and I have loved or really liked everything I’ve read.
Ma mere may not have been so understanding but I don’t think I want 2 find out lol.