Thinner Wallet How To: Celebrate March!
March, in my life, is a month of celebrations, and the road to a thinner wallet. Of course I am the sort of person who goes all-out on gifts. Don’t you love gifts? I certainly do!
So without further ado, happy birthday to:
Sis - thank you for terrorizing my childood. Enjoy your last few years of your 20s 
Cousin - thanks for having me waste money on your stupid DHL gift. I would love to tell you to go to hell but you don’t believe in it
Sis’ best friend – you’re hot. But I am more interested in your younger sister; she still has a few more years to reach your age
Mom - happy birthday mommy! Best woman I know EVER! And thanks for constantly sending me on guilt trips. And happy Mother’s Day!
Granny - happy birthday teta! Love you loads, miss your food and smell and soaps and happy Mother’s Day as well!
Rocco - thanks for always being a schizo like me! You old bastard. How’s it feel being in your thirties? Sucks eh? With two kids? You were happy man, what happened? Why do this to yourself?
Moryarti - great guy, great friend, and has a chronic disorder of returning my calls after 48 hours. Sigh. Slow old buggers!
Christina - thank you for FedExing my teddy bear boxers all the way from Spain and having me open it in front of everyone in college!