Movie Review: The Unborn

Movie Review: The Unborn

Though not a fan of horror flicks, after watching the trailer I thought that this might be a good movie to watch. Too bad it ended up like most other flicks – all the scares were in the trailer.

The story behind the film won’t win any Pulitzer prize, and unfortunately the more explanations provided, the more confused the story becomes. Hot Chick in the film is haunted by a little boy ghost. During the course of the movie you learn the identity of the ghost, as well as its intent, but the connection to the Hot Chick main character is completely unclear.

The Unborn

In fact the plot is so ridiculously confusing that it tends to forget itself. The first part of the film you are bombarded with the phrase “Jumby must be born now”. You’d be thinking that either that kid is the ghost of Jumby or probably the link between Jumby and the Hot Chick. But no – as soon as it is uncovered who Jumby is, the story changes and focuses on the demon entity who has nothing to do with Jumby or the Hot Chick. It is as though the story writers thought that Jumby is a stupid name and a stupid demon, so let’s make another demon and focus on it instead.

Now the new demon’s story, explored in the second half of the film, is simply retarded. The major so-called spoilers are in this second part but they’re too ridiculous to even write.

If the story was the only bad element in the film, it would have been OK. Sadly, most other things are a toss up.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen all scares. For a scary movie, they are all expected. Sudden lack of music is surprisingly followed by a jump-moment. Prolonged gazing in the mirror will yield momentary ghostly visions. Peeking through a peep-hole in the loo may show ghastly results. Opening a noise-making cupboard for the third time reveals hidden demonic entities. Your usual “hello? hello?” and lights flickers tell you of some spirit mucking about.

The Unborn

Not only are the scary elements expected and mostly cliched, but they are all borrowed from one film or another – and even games like Silent Hill!

If you’ve seen the Exorcist, expect a similar crab-walk scene. If you’ve played Silent Hill, expect a wheel-chair-on-stairs scene. If you’ve seen The Ring, expect woman-with-long-hair-sitting-on-chair scene, as well as eerie-black-and-white-tape story exploration (followed by gasps). If you’ve seen any horror film, expect oh-would-you-just-look-at-the-demon-behind-you scene. Heck, they even borrowed the toilet and bugs scene and goo from the Silent Hill film and rendered it in a terrible way.

To its credit, the movie did provide some laughs. The acting is terribly funny. Hot Chick tries to take her role seriously, but you can easily see she is a confused teenager. The director’s shameless use of her sexuality is unbelievable. In a couple of scenes she is wearing panties so tight you can clearly see the labia. The crab scene ends up funny (in a freaky way) and the dog with the inverted head is just downright laugh-out-loud. Everyone in the theatre was laughing most of the time, especially when a supporting actress runs over the little demon-kid with her car.

The absolute, flat-out worst part of this whole nonsensical nonsense is when you realise that they’re performing an exorcism on Hot Chick and she has never even been possessed by the demon (the movie was about it trying to possess her, not have it out of her).

Watch the trailer, which, surprisingly, does a good job of summarising the whole plot (and spoilers) as well as cram in all the scary scenes in less than three minutes.