A while ago I was out with friend and fellow blogger moryarti discussing general stuff when we touched upon my newest developments on my slightly troubled psyche.
I was asking him for some advice on the job front when he mentioned that I should not communicate the notion that I underestimate my own capabilities or undermine my skills etc.
To which I replied that I “sort of don’t think much of myself”.
While he retained his silence (as I am sure he understood I am stressed and probably didn’t mean it), I became quite angry with myself.
You see, it has been in the back of my head for such a long time, slowly brewing up lots of negative energy. And by lots I mean LOTS. So much in fact that while I acknowledge what I have, I don’t genuinely appreciate it, or at least when I do, I think that I deserve even less.
It was such a slap across my face to actually hear my own thoughts.
Having not written my thoughts since last year I haven’t been in touch with myself to be aware of my 802874986 different egos in me lol.
So right now I am angry, at myself that is. But I know I am quite the creative person (see, that’s a good start – give myself some credit!) I shall use this anger constructively to my aid.
In some odd fashion, I hope I stay angry at myself long enough to take enough action.
I told you I’m crazy :D It’s a good thing though.
Ah, look at the related posts. LOL! I should start following my own advice.