Jar of Juice

Hamza is a Big Fat LIAR!

Have you read the blasphemy that is his post?

Lemme clear up the fact that he is an imbecillic LIAR! He is wa7ed animal X( 

ON HIM BEING THIN

First of all that guy is overweight. I don’t know why he thinks he is hot. The hottest thing he is remotely close to is a semi-decomposed deceased camel. Second, I am out of the house at work for 12 hours a day. How on EARTH am I going to feed him?

See, he is SO SPOILED in Saudi that he has a tea boy who brings him a glass of water! I told him, whenever you’re hungry, just open the fridge! Granted I didn’t have a lot of stuff there, but cheeses and bread are always there, as well as other “nawashef” in the cupboards like za3tar, pancakes, all sorts of grains and tuna. He could easily make himself sandwiches and there is rice and meat and chicken in the freezer should he wish to make himself something else!

And then he expects me to come after all these hideous working hours AND cook for him AND take him out AND play with him games AND listen to his ramblings on ridiculous matters!

That and he used to go out during the day to MALLS where I am SURE there are restaurants and food outlets aplenty. So really he is to blame for not eating!

ON THE VIDEOGAME ISSUE

Ugh! Don’t get me started. Let me just sum it up as follows. The game I chose to play is a cooperative multiplayer where we blow the crap out of mad zombies. The game he chose to play made him choose - at one point - to either shoot his mom in the head or watch her being torn into two pieces by a SAW-movie-like contraption (not to mention drilling into someone’s skull). And of course the nurses with jiggly breasts and impaling the main character’s father with a giant knife. Oh, aaaaaaaaaaand he found it quite amusing! Yes, that man was sleeping in MY house!

THE AC MILAN MISHAP

You all know how I feel towards soccer/footbal/crap. I had to sit and watch them baboons hop around the field, and of course it being a friendly they didn’t even play at 20% efficiency. They didn’t even pretend to play well - which all “pro” soccer players should be able to. It was simply for publicity and money. A yawn-inducing match.

Now Hamza is quite the selfish self centered dope, so I thought if I showed him how he should help other people in his community, he would feel good about himself. Granted, I failed miserably at helping the poor chap stuck in the sand, but like I attempted to help, others attempted to help me out, and got me out, and we collaborately helped the other dude (but also failed). It is this collaborative-community work that I wanted to show Hamza but he missed the point completely. Instead he swore he would never help anyone ever again. Which is why when we eventually played the multiplayer game, he refused to use his med kits on me when I needed them.

7aywan.

Oh and did I mention he almost killed Peter?

CONCLUSION

So given the circumstances I say I was a pretty good host. Which is why I treated myself to a haircut using the money he gave me to buy the AC Milan signed jersey NOT the Gaza money he donated as he claimed

Wa7ed ma3tooh mota5allef. Ana bafarjeek ya animal el marra el jayeh!

(PS: this post is not set as a warning to those of you who wish to visit me )

Posted in: humor