Antibiotics for the Lashes

O_____O

Seriously?! Has it come down to this!

I couldn’t help but laugh in the clinic. LOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

So now I am on antibiotics because my eye lashes are STILL infected. After all the other gels that I had to poke my eyes with and rub like there’s no tomorrow.

As soon as the doc told me “don’t take it with milk and don’t expose yourself to sunlight” I knew I had to read the small incomprehensible “instructions manual” that comes along with the box.

Though it is FDA approved, it’s quite hilarious (in a bad way) when you have the indications occupy a small portion while the side effects and contradictions span a whole page.

So I picked out in summary ones which – given the circumstances of my unorthodox existence – are most likely to happen:

• hypertention, vomiting, temporary visual disorder
• rahes and “phototoxic” skin reactions (am already itchy)
• toxic blood granulations, hepatitis and liver impairment
• renal dysfunction and “nephrotoxic damage”
• half a page worth of allergies all involving mucus
• hearing disorders and thyroid discoloring
• a huge collection of things ending with “ias”
• transient myopia (but wait, I just had lasik!)

On the bright side of things (loool) it would hopefully destroy my eye lash infection (that’s the least of my worries given the above list) and help prevent stuff like malaria and syphilis and a long list of bacteria I am sure I would only find in the Encyclopedia of Vaccine-Eradicated Micro-organisms.

I might as well just dip my head in Clorox for a few minutes and get this and other potential diseases off my face!