April, 2008

I Want to Die a Long Horrible Death

But it is 7aram to wish ill on oneself so I will be asking for your help :P

I am so so so so so so so utterly pissed now it isn’t even funny. I guess now I understand what my cousin went through last summer. I have been planing this great holiday escape with my best friend to the weirdest place you’d find bachelor men in: The Maldives. Why? Because I want to go there, relax, read a good book, tan, take photos and watch someone drown whilst snorkeling.

Yes I could do it here in Dubai. Yes I could do it anywhere on the UAE coast. Yes I can go to anyplace in the Indian Ocean or Mauritius or a place where bachelor men don’t have the disadvantage.

But do I care? NO, I don’t, because I want to escape city life, go to a blue open water, and enjoy being 7ay ibn yaqthan.

My best friend was so excited about the trip. I worked the whole nine yards, where we’d be staying, the booking, etc, everything. Then ONE STUPID PERSON somehow convinced my best friend it is a couples-only place, and every single thing he found GREAT, he found an excuse against it.

How ridiculous!

FINE, it is a romantic place. Go hit on a turtle, for all I care! Enjoy the friggin serenity for a few days! You get to feed frigging shrimps to a frigging whale shark whilst diving!

I actually booked this very room you see in this very photo

He started planning for Malaysia but I was so pissed off he canceled the thing after I showed him attitude. I convinced myself to go to Malaysia and got excited about it, and even found reservations and what have you, but he just bailed out completely. Heck I even found a Maldives-like island we can go relax in for a couple of days and I made sure it isn’t for humpers only. I was doing all that whilst supervising the cabling for our new data center in one of the most hazardous working environments ever (next post), in a frigging basement with close to nil coverage.

I haven’t had a holiday since December 2005 and when I FINALLY get FIVE FRIGGIN DAYS OFF, this crap happens!

It’s my fault I wasn’t very tolerant to change in plans – but he knows me and my circumstances better than to be pissed off at me for being pissed off at him. Ya3ni he’s straight-headed enough to tame Moogle very well in these situations!

But I am just so goddamn angry – and I know I shouldn’t be – and I am seeing my only five days off slowly crumble away. I swear I am THIS close to lactating from my eyeballs.

I still own my cousin a trip to Istanbul (which I won’t go to without him). I should have just picked 3 of my readers and paid their trips to come visit me here. Hmm… anyone willing to visit me sometime in autumn? Qwaider is definitely on the list of invitees; there are lots of gals I know who need bashing! LOOOL.

Anyway I know my friend will change his mind – I did threaten him just a few minutes ago and he said we’d talk tomorrow, lol – but nothing wrong with anonymous complaining, right?!

*weeps*

Eloquence

Be Concise! Be Concise! Be Concise!

This is what my literature professor at college used to tell us before our assignments.

But how can we be concise while writing a story! We have to portray a vivid world, of colors (or, uncolored), of different people, of scenes, of meadows and mountains and emotions and fingertips touching. A portrait of that lady in the background, sitting on the other table, sipping her fresh coffee and wiping her mouth with her napkin.

And we have to be concise! To choose our words, our descriptions, our metaphors, wisely. Stringing pieces of words to for a coherent sentence to be read as a poem.

Aaaaaaaagh!

It isn’t only in writing prose, no. Writing blogs, and commenting on them, is probably now one of the most frequent activities any person with access to the Sphere does in a day.

And I am a victim of not being concise! Even though I was trained to be, especially in the British school I spent my whole school years in!

But why do we write on and on and on and on… talk a lot but say very little?

Is it because we think too many words prove our point? Or is it because you feel like you haven’t said enough?

For me, personally, I feel I haven’t said enough! Even though I can reword a paragraph into three sentences, and make it more powerful.

I went back to my emails and saw an enormous, 1500 word email sent to one of the PMs in the company last year to explain a mishap. It is a good thing I summarized the whole essay in bullet points in the end, and I thought to myself, why haven’t I just emailed the bullet points?

It is because I felt I haven’t explained enough, which was not the case.

And I am still a victim of this, as you can see how much I have elaborated on the issue when I could have written only a couple of paragraphs on it!

Oddball of a World vol.9 – On Tuna, Staples, PC, Lottery, Jail Food and Workaholics

STRESS FREE TUNA

Psychology is critical, but have you ever thought of how Tuna feels when it gets caught by fishermen? Well, some researchers are, and they will be coming up with fishing mechanisms to reduce the stress levels in Tuna… so that they taste better.

MISSING STAPLES

So you’re in court, about to receive a life sentence (or death sentence) for your homicide atrocities, when you notice that the staple on your court documents is missing. Since all documents are required to be stapled – by law – you have the chance to appeal because, well, you might have been “framed”. Talk about luck, OJ Simpson!

BYE BYE, STUPID PC!

Have you ever been sooooooooooo upset from your PC you felt like throwing it out the window? Well this man did, and the neighbors called the cops on him. Throw out the neighbors I say!

GOING ONCE… GOING TWICE!!

If those staple murderers are lucky, these two are even luckier. They not only won the lottery ONCE, but they won the SAME LOTTERY TWICE, thanks to two tickets!

BUT JAIL FOOD IS FREE!!

I actually considered doing this on multiple occasions. This guy here, binges in fancy restaurants then pulls off a great escape scene and doesn’t pay for the food. He has been caught and jailed, went on probation – and now he is back for the same crime! I hope jail food is good!

YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE SEX BY NOW…

Do you have a workaholic in the office? One who works day and night, 297118763/7? Researchers found out that a good percentage of said workaholics are using their jobs as a diversion from their unfulfilled sex life! Now which country has the highest number of workaholics…


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UAE Crackdown Against God of War

Even though I blogged about the issue before when it started in KSA, I am very surprised to see that the stupidity has infiltrated the UAE as well. Yesterday’s news mentioned a crackdown against God of War, possibly one of the most popular games in recent history.

The game is loosely based on Greek Mythology, and features the slaughtering of lots of mythical creatures and fighting various popular Olympian gods or one of them wonderful Titans.

Note that this is not the first game in history that features Greek mythology and it definitely is not the first game where a form of God is involved in. Heck, if this is the case then why isn’t Xenosaga banned? Or is the term Lost Jerusalem has nothing to do with religion? Why don’t they ban Final Fantasy VII? Sephiroth, Jenova anyone?! How about Final Fantasy X? Or the most blatantly controversial Tactics?

Heck, even Legend of Zelda has three deities… oh my the blasphemy!

And God of War contains sex scenes… oooh! Cuz Extreme Volleyball is fine with an all-cast women with breasts so enormous and bouncy they defy all laws of gravity. You don’t believe me? Watch this and this.

Well then… if they’re banning a GAME, why not as well ban, I dunno, the bars, the night clubs, the alcohol, and maybe close down the prostitution street?! You know where it is! The whole district shakes every night!

Practice what you preach and stop being hypocrites. Don’t say this is an Islamic country and ban non-Islamic stuff, then sell books and videos and movies and services that are anything but that!

I understand it is because kids are playing it – but it is an 18+ rated game and for good reason too. Don’t ban the game – fine the retail outlets that are selling it to minors!

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