The book is “Fraud of the Rings by M. R. Moogtein”
Henceforth Dildo Baggings castrated himself, for great Sauron he slaught.
And Frodo castheth himself onto molten oblivion, the ring he hath sought.
Betwixt his fingers and the ring there were, a dodo that hath flought.
That caughteth the ring in its claws, a new lord the ring has brought.
Frodo felleth beneath the red of greed, a hero now he is naught.
And Dodo took flight invincible against arrows, or so it hath thought.
Billion Things To Do Before 18
1. Raid the fridge.
100. Have an online romantic relationship.
500. Yell at your parents and get grounded, then escape through the window.
1,000. Destroy your sister’s Barbie doll collection.
8,277. Walk in on your parents during The Act. You need to be prepared for life and if you survive this ordeal you can survive anything.
19,398. Run down the beach naked whilst peeing.
3,482,991. Take your girlfriend/boyfriend to the beach and break up there. This ensures a bad memory every time they take their new partners to the beach.
21,938,283. Go on top of a table in a party and vomit.
34,719,127. Vomit during a rollecoaster ride.
46,171,638. Vomit when asked “do I look nice?”
183,882,937. Give your girlfriend/boyfriend/parents a wake up call by slapping them.
283,271,871. Run over a cat/pigeon/rodent whilest driving then sue the government for not putting up animal crossing signs.
456,276,181. While yo’re at it, sue Angelina Jolie for not adopting you.
728,176,163. Bunjee jump.
832,761,753. Cause a catastrophe in the chemistry lab.
899,171,873. Put your father’s tie in a shredder.
910,910,091. Vandalize an enemy’s car.
950,004,000. Defacate on doorsteps, ring the bell and run.
999,999,990. Return a sandwich in Burger King/Mc Donald’s and claim something is wrong with the taste. The horrific look on other customer’s faces is priceless (tested myself)
999,999,999. Experience papercuts.
1,000,000,000. Create, receive, and forward spam email / tags :P :P :P