Who hates Mondays? We all do. Actually Sundays in this part of the world. But in any case, here is some absurd news that made headlines to cheer you up.
So you own an airline company and one of your planes has always been jinxed, troubled beyond trouble and might get into the Wikipedia as one of those (if not the most) malfunctional pieces of equipment ever created by man. Yet you’d lose business if it doesn’t fly, and if it does fly you’d lose people. And you don’t have the money to fix it. What a pickle! So what do you do? Simple: Sacrifice two goats to please the sky gods and everything will be fine. Although you might be laughing now, it actually worked. Talk about supernatural powers of goats!
Assuming you have a proper plane, you get another problem on your hands: The passengers. No no, not those who arrive last minute, but the ones who want to shuffle seats. I mean, everyone does that, right? Well it appears that the person in question had too many relative females who are seated next to unknown men. Gee, and I thought on a plane everyone knew the other! Three hours later the guy and his infinite number of female relatives got off the plane and all the other passengers missed their connecting flights.
To many people this is a curse, but to one particular person it was amusing. They inherited Paris Hilton’s number. Swell.
So tax is a big thing apparantly. Here in the Middle East we don’t worry about such things of course, since everything is overpriced by default anyway. However this Japanese woman thought of a brilliant idea: Use your relative’s names so that the government thinks your income is negligible and avoid tax. Thankfully her fine was only a margin of what she made out of her 60-year plot, which is amusing in and of itself.
It is a simple thing, really, when you don’t want to pay for an item. You just shoplift it, right? Experienced shoplifters (read: Brits) can live for years without any sort of income but live a high-end life with LCD HDTVs, a full supply of groceries and probably even borrowed children. What these shoplifter should teach the new generation is that, when you steal, please don’t go back to the store and ask for an exchange.
I Am Bored. Let’s Save A Shark!
You’re a bored lifeguard. You hear a commotion. Certainly, there must be a problem. Someone drowning. You run to the location and you see people frantically trying to escape a shark. What do you do? Save the shark!