Jar of Juice

Over the years in uni and now at work life, I have become quite the expert when it comes to making pasta dishes. So today I am going to give you my pasta recipe in the hope that there will be more people to carry out my legacy. If it tastes bad, then know it is entirely your fault.

Ingredients (for 1.5 dishes):
- Fusili pasta, preferably from Barilla
- Lots of fresh tomatoes (the more the merrier)
- Mushrooms, depending on the size, you can put as many as you want. If you got one of those ready-made sliced ones, then 1/3 of the medium tin would do.
- Fresh basil. Dry basil would do, but fresh has a stronger taste.
- Oregano, of course. Bring pure oregano, not one with basil mixed in.
- You need three cheeses: Parmesan, Cheddar and Mozzarella
- EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
- Garlic and onions to your liking.
- Minced meat (1/4 kilos)
- Salt, pepper, boiling water, spoon, fork and other utensils (especially pots)

WORKING THE PASTA
- Do NOT put the pasta in the hot water. It will become sticky.
- Heat the water to the point it is very hot but not boiling, then add the pasta.
- Alternatively you can put the pasta in first then pour the hot water on it. It makes a difference.
- Allow the pasta to settle before touching it. Leave it for a minute.
- Stir the pasta a little. Since it is fusili, it won’t tangle itself with other fusilis.
- Add enough EVOO to have half the pot covered in EVOO film.
- Stir the pasta vertically, so that the EVOO goes deep into the pot and lathers itself on the pasta.
- The EVOO will eventually rise to the top again, don’t panic.
- Leave it unstirred for 2 minutes, then re-stir for a few seconds. Keep at it.
- If you like it “Italian”, you need to stop cooking when the pasta is almost soft.
- Do NOT attempt to throw the fusili on the wall for testing. It is covered in oil and won’t stick.
- When it is almost soft, turn off the stove and keep the pasta in. It will soften further.
- If you like it harder then turn off the stove beforehand.

SLICING THOSE TOMATOES
- First of all you need to decide how you like the garlic.
- Option one: Slice the garlic into thin pieces. You’re gonna need one or two garlic, uh, capsules.
- Option two: Bring ONE garlic capsule and squish it completely. It gives a better taste.
- Slice the tomatoes and put them in a blender. Keep one tomato unblended.
- Throw in the garlic. It is mandatory.
- Blend the mixture.
- While it blends, cut the other tomato into cubey chunks.
- If you don’t like tomato residue in the blended tomatoes, see next section.
- Keep them on the side for now.

MORE TOMATO HOUSEKEEPING
- If you want pure tomato sauce, you need a very thing filter (like the ones for tea)
- Put the filter on top of another pot, then pour your tomato sauce in the filter.
- Using a spoon, squeeze down the blended tomato. Pure tomato sauce will escape, leaving behind solid tomato.

STORY OF ONIONS AND MEAT
- Mince the onions. You need 2 small ones. Keep another tiny onion unminced.
- Cut the other onion into thin longitudinal slices.
- If that’s too much onion, you can have one sliced and one minced.
- Make sure the meat is defrosted. If it is still frozen, the meat may burn while cooking.
- Put in the defrosted meat and proceed in the mincing process.
- Place with it the mushrooms. They take a long while to cook.
- As soon as 3/4 of the meat takes on a color different from red, throw in the onions.
- If the mushrooms turn a different color you can remove them away from the center.
- Add salt and pepper to your liking.
- When you think the meat is ready, embrace yourself.

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER
- Once the meat is ready, pour in the tomatoes
- Count to 20 (important) and add the tomato chunks.
- Keep stirring till it boils. Make sure the meat is moved or it will stick to the bottom of the pan.
- Add the oregano, salt and pepper as you see fit.

THE PASTA TRICK
- Now here is the pasta trick.
- Have another pot ready, semi-heated.
- Remove the pasta manually from the pot. This way it gets lathered with EVOO on its way out.
- Put the fusili in the other pot on the stove.
- This way, the fusili will provide you with enough oil to fry them in.
- Fry the fusili a LITTLE. You don’t want it French fries.
- Turn off stove.

SECRETS OF THE DISH
- Bring in a deep dish. You need it.
- Shred the three cheeses and put SOME in the BOTTOM of the dish.
- Add some pasta.
- Throw in a LITTLE bit of basil.
- Add the rest of the pasta.
- Add some cheese.
- THEN pour the sauce.
- Add more cheese and basil.

Then eat.

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