Ridiculous Quotes Collection

I have a dream.
Well of course you do. Everyone has a dream. I have several dreams per night.

This is the defining moment of our lives.
And who the hell are you to tell us what is the defining moment of your life?

I think, therefore I am.
Yes, you are…?

Safe sex.
As long as you are not doing it bungee jumping into an erupting volcano, the possibility of you being injured during sex is minimal.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
Not if you send them to their asylum first.

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
And what is democracy then?

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Which “2” are we talking about? If both then it is equal to 6

Try to be the person your dog thinks you are.
So you want me to be a diplomat?

Life is nothing like the brochure.
Probably written my a pathological depressive suicidal

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
And now that you know that, you are ignorant.