March, 2007

At the End of the Maze

At the End of the Maze

I recently discovered that my VGA card on the PC has the ability to produce another desktop on another screen, namely the TV. So I bought some cables (stupid thing cost me 30 DHS) and plugged them in… and viola! I got myself a nice movie theater. Bye bye stupid DVD player which can’t render all movies correctly.To honor my victory over the DVD player, I watched Pan’s Labyrinth, and I gotta say that this is one damn good movie.

The story speaks of a little girl and her mother moving in with the stepfather, who is a strict general and is currently trying to hold off a group of rogues. The girl sees a fairy, and, as you would expect, everything goes crazy. I don’t wanna spoil the beautifully creative movie (and I mean creative), but it brings up a number of interesting points, specifically, how a person deals with the surroundings by going to a place beyond the normal, mentally (a place I call LaLa Land).

When a person undergoes severe stress, and can’t resolve it, they try to escape it. You may call them schizos, but the movie doesn’t speak of schizos per se (although there is one scene where you get the impression otherwise) but rather of the concept of a “better place” than the one you are in.

Strangely, this “better place” also has its downfall, its demons and whatnot, and it is up to you to decide if you want to stay in LaLa Land or in reality.

I love the movie. Get it.

300 – Come and Get Them

300 – Come and Get Them

If you didn’t watch this movie, you are officially stupid. And don’t give me the whole “this is the West brainwashing that they will triumph over the current Iranian affairs” crap. It is a true story (without maybe the giant elephants and rhinos) and if you don’t believe me you can read about the history here.

I just wonder really how those men got those bodies. I watched the documentary on how they were trained… OMG! I would die if I were to be trained in the same way. LoL.

Profile of a Land Cruiser

Note: This is to be taken lightly and not as an accusation to Land Cruiser owners.

The Land Cruiser, scientifically named Toyolandus Fourbyfourcruiserum, is a species that belongs to the Machina kingdom. It is found universally, although it is more concentrated in the Gulf region and displays significantly different behavior from other Land Crusiers found worldwide.

Physical Appearance

The Land Cruiser belongs to the Machina SUV subkingdom and has an overall body resemblance to other Machina SUV. It features a long neck, with a broad face and aggressive eyes yet a gentle grill. The main body is often rectangularish, most often having tinted instead of regular windows. The rear of the Land Cruiser is often fat and bulky, but this is largely used for protection.

Social Behavior

The Land Cruiser has a wide range of behavior, but it is often characterized as annoying, stubborn and aggressive. This is espacially true when the Land Cruiser is confronted with lower Machina subkingdoms, but is also likely to display those behavioral patterns on other Machina SUVs.

The Land Cruiser always likes to have its way, and acts as though the path it is walking on is owned by the Land Cruiser. Hence, any other Machina in front of the Land Cruiser may be be prone to aggressive behavior. It is found that the Land Cruiser first “flashes” the unsuspecting prey by shooting Xenon powered beams at it. If unsuccessful, the enraged Land Cruiser may use a “bumper to bumper” approach, with it viciously approaching the other Machina, threatening the other Machina’s security. If the other Machina does not respond, the Land Cruiser can choose a different path and overtake the other Machina, thereafter slowing down in a threatening pose to the now-behind Machina. If the other Machina displays aggression, the Land Cruiser may come to a halt, where a battle commences between the Machina’s in physical and verbal forms.

Social Positions and Behavioral Correlations

The Land Cruiser is socially regarded as an upper class Machina, and therefor it expects that all other Machina succumb to its tyres. However, it has been noted that the behavior of the Machina changes as the Machina code (or license plate number) changes. Typically, Land Cruisers with a larger number display less aggressive behavior, with a few exceptions. Land Cruisers with a very low number (3 significant figures or less) display a far less aggressive behavior and are usually peaceful, unless threatened or are on a mission. Even in those situations, they are usually stubborn rather than aggressive, as they just want to get a specific job done.

The most dangerous Land Cruisers are the mid-ranged numbers. They are, in Machina terms, “young adults” and would display a large range of erratic behaviors.

Predators

The Land Cruisers does not have any predators in its class, however it only has one competitor, typically a Nissan Patrol (Nissanus Fourbyfourpatrolium). It does not typically pose a threat to the Land Cruiser, however, the two present on the same lane can spell disaster for other Machina.

Closing Comments

Make way. Don’t mess with the Land Cruiser.

How to Surf at Your House

We all like to surf right? Just seeing those hot hunks and bouncing breasted women surf on Baywatch is enough to make us jealous to the point of suicide. But here in the UAE the waves are not strong enough for surfing in the true surfing form, and probably if you live anywhere inland, the only surfing you will be seeing is on Baywatch.

So this little upset fella came up with the idea of bringing the surf to your house, simple because you can’t go to the ocean to surf. How? Simple, have a giant washing machine that is always on spin, and you place yourself inside. Yup, that’s right – but let us see, probably you need a garden or a large basement for this to place. And it also assumes you are well balanced – otherwise you may end up spinning in this thing until your mom comes and turns the thing of (after you give her instructions of course whilst spinning) or until you are eventually thrown off into the wall of your basement or the fence between you and the neighbors.

Pretty smart, I say. Baywatch is safer.


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